It is usually an adult son or daughter who first realizes the need for in-home care when our loved ones begin to show signs of needing it. Frequently, though, it is discovered that the parent does not believe he or she requires assistance in the first place. No amount of explanation or persuasion can always resolve a conflict.
A difference in perceptions is one of the reasons this subject may become such a point of controversy between generations. A son or daughter may notice their parent has shaky gait, is missing pills, or is unable to do self-care or home responsibilities.
Naturally, this raises concerns about one’s safety and well-being. Arranging for home assistance in Danville, CA is a simple solution that can help a parent live comfortably and safely.
Your parent’s viewpoint may be entirely different. His or her main concerns could be privacy and independence. Accepting the necessity for an assistant or companion may appear to be a loss of dignity and control. Cost could also be an issue. It can be difficult, if not impossible, to reconcile these opposing viewpoints. Following are some recommendations based on our experience that may be useful to children of elderly parents:
Request it as a favor for you
If you highlight that the home caregiver services are for your benefit, a parent may be more accepting. Mention how you’d feel more at ease if someone was assisting you with food, laundry, and other domestic tasks. Make it seem like a favor for you. Explain that it would provide you with peace of mind while you focus on your personal or professional priorities.
Safety does not take priority over other factors- Accept it!!
One of the most significant lessons we’ve learned over the years is that when it comes to safety, compromise is nearly always required. Mistakes, injuries, and bad occurrences are more likely in an aged individual with functional impairment and/or chronic sickness. Making safety the primary concern appears to be the humanitarian and ethical thing to do. But if it comes at the cost of dignity and quality of life, it’s not worth it.
It’s better to practice the art of the possible while accommodating a parent’s values and preferences. Set up more limited home care visits and set up an emergency alarm system if your parent refuses to obtain live-in care or relocate to assisted living. Then learn about the various ways that a home can be adapted to prevent falls (e.g., installing grab bars and rails; using no-slip mats; assuring good lighting; removing trip hazards and clutter.) If medication errors are a concern, have all prescriptions reviewed by a physician to keep regimens as simple as possible, and at the very least, purchase a medicine dispenser. There are also electronic dispensers that, if dosages are missed, will instantly dial a pre-programmed phone number.
There is a lot that can be done to increase the safety of an older person who lives alone. But, in the end, no combination of measures will completely remove risk. The problem is to increase safety without sacrificing important values such as self-esteem, dignity, and appropriate independence.
Concentrate on assisting with household chores.
Presenting in-home assistance in Walnut Creek with household duties, washing, and food rather than personal care is one approach to persuade an ageing loved one to accept it. Housekeepers are used by many people of all ages, and they do not carry the stigma that a personal care aide does. Once the “foot is through the door,” the elder can form a bond with the caregiver and become less reliant on them.
Seek the assistance of a reputable professional
While an elderly person may be resistant to family members’ requests, the advice of a trusted personal physician, lawyer, or pastor may be more compelling. It is virtually always a good idea to meet with such a person. However, avoid appearing as if you’ve hired the help of a professional to push your point of view. If the elder feels as if he or she is being “ganged up on,” use of this strategy may backfire.
Don’t ignore the signs of Dementia
Dementia manifests itself in behaviors such as repeating the same tale over and over, forgetting appointments, becoming disoriented in previously familiar places, or losing the capacity to execute previously routine chores. Many people mistakenly believe that such behaviors are part of normal ageing.
Persuading a parent with dementia to accept help becomes considerably more difficult because judgment may be severely affected. When it comes to assertiveness, how assertive should you be? What are your responsibilities in terms of filial piety and ethics? How far will you go to assert power, and at what cost to your relationship?
The first and most important step is to schedule a medical evaluation to determine the cause and extent of dementia and, if possible, to begin treatment. Find out how much cognitive impairment your parent has and what kinds of decision-making responsibilities you should be taking over for them from their doctor. Learn as much as you can about the issue.
Don’t overlook the numerous ways that technology can help adult children keep an eye on their elderly parents’ well-being. Remote monitoring of vital signs such as blood pressure, tracking movement throughout the home with motion detectors or webcams, and ensuring medication compliance are all now possible. For the best personal home care assistance.